


Mother

by soldiermom1973



Series: 1,000 years (A Reconciliation Story) [25]
Category: Mass Effect (Comics), Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect - Various Authors, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Matriarch Benezia - Freeform, Mindoir, N7 Month 2019, N7 month, Noveria, losing a parent, mother - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:00:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21575644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soldiermom1973/pseuds/soldiermom1973
Summary: When things wrap up on Noveria, Allie finds it hard to lend a comforting shoulder and winds up needing one herself.
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Allie Shepard, Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard
Series: 1,000 years (A Reconciliation Story) [25]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1460416
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Mother

**Author's Note:**

> For [N7 Month](https://n7month.tumblr.com/post/188450175349/n7-month-challenge) over on Tumblr; the prompt was 'Mother', and I thought it would be a good time to talk about Allie's reaction to the Noveria mission. It also offers some background into Allie & Kaidan's blossoming relationship.

Allie was in the shuttle bay, flipping through holos of her family. Every once in a while, she'd brush her hand along her cheek, wiping away tears and wishing she could brush away the ache in her heart. The mission they had on Noveria was one of the toughest she'd ever had – she didn't know Matriarch Benezia, but she was Liara's mother and the younger asari was desperate to try and save her. Allie had to close her eyes when she squeezed the trigger and couldn't watch as Liara cradled her mother's body.

When they got back to the Normandy, almost everyone was concerned that Allie hadn't talked to Liara straight off. “She just lost her mother,” Ash stated, her arms crossed over her chest. “You know what that's like, Skipper. You need to talk to her and help her through this.”

It was all Allie could do to keep her temper in check when the gunnery chief finished talking. _Of course_ she fucking knew what it was like to lose her mother. She lost both of her fucking parents and her little sister. Did she know what Liara was going through? Probably, but Liara hadn't spoken to her mother in years while Allie had breakfast with her mother the morning of the raid. And why couldn't Ash console her? Ash knew what it was like to lose a parent, too. Why did this have to fall on Allie's shoulders?

“Commander?”

Allie glanced at Kaidan and brushed her cheeks again. “Hey,” she said softly, closing her 'tool. “Shouldn't you be sleeping?”

“I could say the same to you, Shepard,” Kaidan said, holding out a mug. “I figured you might need a shoulder, though.”

Allie accepted the mug and inhaled. “Hot chocolate?” she smiled. “And with the marshmallows.”

She took a sip and gave him a warm smile. “You remembered.”

Kaidan felt his face grow hot and he rubbed the back of his neck. “I figured you might need that, too.”

Allie scooted over so Kaidan had room to sit and she leaned against his shoulder. “Killing Benezia was hard because she was herself there for a few moments. And then it was killing someone while their daughter watched. I won't lie, Kaidan,” she murmured, “I didn't want to talk to Liara. God help me, I didn't. Not just because I'm the one who killed her mother and I figured she'd be angry or hate me or something...” she sniffled and sighed. “I didn't want to talk to her because of the memories it brought up.

“And then to listen to her share these memories she had with her... It was hard to keep it together, you know? I don't think Liara knows I was on Mindoir. Hell, I don't even think she knows what Mindoir is or what happened there. She probably wouldn't have said anything if she knew, you know? And it was so hard to not say anything, to not start crying, to be the strong commander and friend she needed...”

Kaidan rested his cheek on top of Allie's head and let her vent, wishing there was more he could do besides give her a shoulder and some hot chocolate. “Do you want to talk about it?” he finally asked.

“About what? The raid? No, not really,” Allie murmured.

“What about your mom? Do you want to talk about her?”

Allie sat up, took a deep breath, and thought for a moment. She didn't really talk about her family much at all any more. If any memories surfaced, she would either enjoy or mourn them in private. “She loved to cook,” she finally whispered. “I remember when I was little and she tried teaching me to make scrambled eggs. I was maybe five or six at the time and they were so runny but I wouldn't let her help. She was there to make sure I didn't burn myself or catch anything on fire, but I wouldn't let her help me beat the eggs or stir them in the pan...”

A sad smile spread across her face at the memory. “Dad ate them, though. Said they were the best eggs he ever had. And then one time I tried making her breakfast in bed. Dad was away for his job and she wasn't feeling good, so I made her some cereal and a glass of juice, but it was too heavy for me to carry so far and I spilled all of it. She didn't get mad, either. 'You were trying to do something nice, Poppy,' she said. 'Sometimes when you do something nice, you can make a mess. All you do is clean it up and try again.'”

“She called you Poppy?” Kaidan asked. He had no idea Allie had any sort of a nickname.

“Yeah.” Her smile got bigger. “For a few days after I was born, my face was beet red. The doc didn't know why, but mom said I reminded her of a poppy, so that's what she called me.”

Kaidan listened as Allie shared a few more memories about her mother – how she loved to garden, the smell from the kitchen when she baked bread, her favorite apron, and that one time when Allie brought a boy home and her mom didn't like him.

“It was that mother's intuition, I guess,” Allie shrugged. “He turned out to be a real jerk.”

Kaidan hummed when Allie rested her head on his shoulder again. “My mom is the same way,” he admitted, nestling his cheek on her head. “Must just be a mom thing.”

“Must be.”

They sat like that for a few more moments before Allie spoke again. “Thank you, by the way.”

“I don't mind. I told you that before.”

“Not just for this,” she replied, “but you were the only one besides Wrex who didn't insist I talk to Liara right away.”

“I knew you'd talk to her when you were ready,” he shrugged. “You're a good person like that, Shepard. You care about your crew. And I don't think anyone thought about what all of this meant for you, too. Yeah, Liara lost her mom, but you were suffering, too.”

“But you did,” Allie said, giving his leg a gentle squeeze. “You did think about that. You have no idea how much that means.”

A few more moments passed before Kaidan tapped his finger on her nearly-empty mug. “Could you use another?”

She sat up and took the last swallow of her favorite comfort beverage. “Hug or hot chocolate?” Her smile was teasing, but tinged with a bit of sadness.

“Either. Both,” he shrugged.

“I'm good on hot chocolate, but I won't turn down a hug.”

He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. They stayed like that for several minutes before Allie leaned back and let him brush his thumb across her cheeks, drying her tears.. “You'll have to tell me about your mom, sometime,” she said.

“Sounds like a plan, Commander. You know where to find me,” he smiled. “No pressure, though. I've got tons of stories when you're ready to hear them. You should think about getting some sleep, though.”

“I know,” she nodded. “I just need a few more minutes.”

Kaidan gave her another smile and walked out of the shuttle bay. As he left, Allie watched him fire up his omnitool and wondered if he was sending his mom a message. She hoped so. She hoped after everything that happened today, everyone on the crew reached out to their parents and told them they loved them.


End file.
